I heard a noise in the garden yesterday, so I went to investigate.

Three strange lads were urinating loudly against my bedroom wall.
I asked them what they thought they were up to - in my garden, against my wall.

For a second all three of them just stared.
Then, in a voice so loud that I shocked myself, I told the group to 'GO AWAY'.
Their defiant look vanished as they realised I wasn't going to be messed with, and they turned and fled.

I went to the front room and watched them running away.

It was about then that I felt my smugness disappear, as they ran back to their mums and the school bus.

I closed the blinds and went back to bed.